The Need to Succeed

     In side of everyone and this is solely based on my own belief is a desire to succeed at something. We all long to feel that feeling of accomplishment. I think its start the first time we receive praise for our efforts in something. We either crave the accolades of others or learn that it's our own opinions of ourselves that matter. Whichever way one goes we all search for some kind of success.

     So where do we go wrong? I think for me it was when I realized that  the things I wanted to succeed in were not for me or that I wasn't motivated enough to do it. I learned the hard way that one had to have a certain amount of self motivation in order to be successful. In my early years I believe I lacked this the most. I had drive that is what got me through the door but to stay, do, grow and develop myself; Yeah that was where motivation was suppose to kick in and it didn't.

     Many things can attribute to this lack of motivation. For me it was fear and hurt. Fear because I had already lost something that I felt was intricate in my future dream plans. Then the hurt from learning that I would be unable to accomplish the one thing I wanted above all else. Sucked any real motivation out of me. Did this mean that I stopped trying? No it meant that when I would, if an obstacle appeared it made it easier for me to give up. As I look back now with new insight and 20/20 hindsight. I realize that losing that motivation leaves your heart in an unyielding bind  and it blinds you to the good things. In a way it's like depression and for me it lead to a lot of self-loathing and sadness.

     Now almost 15 years later I hate that I allowed such things as fear and hurt to sap away my self-motivation. Because of this I am pushing Precious Tea Novels. I know my stories are not conventional and that the sexual content could make a nympho-porn star blush. That they deal with a lot of things that the world even now are scared to explore because its to close to the line of what is right and what is wrong. Yet I refuse to apologize for them. My writing is the only place I accept gray areas. It's the one place that Grace and Mercy are abundant without guilt. It's the one place where self-forgiveness for me and my mistakes flow with ease defeating self judgement and condemnation. (yes I'm that harsh on myself.)

     Precious Tea Novels is my redemption. It's the place where I am going to soar in my own eyes come hell or high water. It's the one of the area's that I refuse to accept defeat in. I will succeed and I know you are going to help me. Then Together we can accomplish the quote unquote Impossible. How?  We will be each others encouragement, accountability partners and support. We will believe in each others talents and gifts, never to fail to see the greatness in each other  and invest in the credible crazy dreams that we all have. So lets do it, Lets Succeed together. So As always people:

 You are Precious To Someone Because You are Precious To Me.